Day 20: Let's get real.

Today's challenge: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

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I tend not to write about negative things or things that I feel are not that interesting, or entertaining, or upbeat. If I write about them, it's casual, maybe a quick one-liner, or a story with a healthy positive spin on it. Not that I avoid our struggles, but there's a time and place and I'm not sure that for me, that time or place is now on this public forum. 

But in an effort to continue with this blog every day in May challenge, I feel as though as I need to say something regarding today's chosen topic: struggle. So here are two things that basically tie into every other thing that I ever think about:

- I'm twenty-six and don't really know what I want to be when I grow up. I like what I do each day (teaching), but it's a struggle financially. Every time I pay a student loan, I shed a few tears and think "why did I waste my time". And there's no end in sight to the amount of money we owe in loans, or bills, or debt. My monthly paycheck barely contributes to anything and besides finding a new career I don't really see a solution to any of it.

- I'm at that age where I want a baby. Unfortunately, because of the state of my paycheck we can't really afford to take care of another person. I also struggle with the idea of giving up our daily life and routines for a baby but feel that probably changes. Maybe? 

So, two things? I mean -- I could go into more. Like how: my house is a mess, the end of the school year is so stressful, my new kitten is afraid of me, Sean's band is taking his time away from me, my other kitten is mad that we got a new kitten, our lease is due and I can't find it, I desire to make my blog a full-time job, someone scratched my new car, we have a situation with our neighbor's lizards and their unfortunate smell, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson broke up. I mean really... I could go on and on.