My most recent date night has left me terrified of vacationing.

Over the weekend, Sean and I went out on a date to see Evil Dead.
I know what you're thinking, "what kind of date night movie is that?".
I am still thinking the exact same thing.

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I was checking my phone for the time. The whole time.
Doing the math in my head like "okay, there's 40 minutes left".
I was closing my eyes wishing I could fall asleep.
I was staring at Sean, thinking about how many chick flicks he owed me for this.
[We decided on four].

When we left the theater, I did a run-down of everything I hated about the movie.
To which he replied, "that's how I feel after every movie you choose, I'm just not so vocal about it".
Interesting, you mean to tell me you just bite your tongue and tell me how much of a good time you've had with me?
I could shed a tear.

If you don't know what Evil Dead is about:
Possession, group of friends, and cabin in the woods sum it up.

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Wait a minute.
I'm going to a cabin in the woods with a group of friends this summer.

Let's talk about this while possibly giving some spoilers away.
Don't read ahead if you're dying to see this movie and don't want me to "ruin" it.

When I go camping this summer --

I am totally out of there if any of the below happens:

The door to the cabin is busted. If the cabin we're about to stay in for 4 days has visibly been broken into, to the point where we have a conversation about how strangers could be inside.

There are dead animals hanging from the ceiling. A bunch of animals are dangling from the ceiling rotting and smelling? Do you honestly think it's normal to just go to sleep? No. It's not normal, it's sad and horrible.

There's a book of witchcraft wrapped in barbwire. A book in the basement with the dead animals on which, in blood, is written DO NOT OPEN, LEAVE ME ALONE.

There are clippers nearby to clip said barbwire. Yeah, I don't think so. I don't even have to go into this one, right? I mean, if it says do not open... DO NOT OPEN it. And if one of my friends did, there's no way I'm sticking around to see what happens.

Strange things start happening. Somebody in the group suddenly starts seeing a girl, and tells us there's someone else in the cabin with us. I'm listening, and leaving.

My friends start trying to kill me. Who actually thinks it's normal to stick this one out? I don't care if it's raining, I am not sticking around for the night with a plan to leave in the morning. I can't swim, but I would swim across a river. I don't care how fast it's moving.

I can tell you: 
this is what I will be doing during my trip to the woods.

- checking that all doors were sealed and locked and no rooms have any dead animals in them
- carrying my car keys with me at all times
- sleeping with one eye open