209 days.

This photo has nothing to do with this post -- but it makes me happy and this post is depressing. 

Oh, so many thoughts. 

I'm currently in Florida, after driving from MA and going through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, D.C., Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia. Lots of states in just a few days, that's for sure. Luckily (or unluckily) I was plugged in the whole time and listened to DjT's news conference on facebook, in horror -- we sat in the car and said "what is happening right now?!" and "is he being serious?" -- Once we got to the hotel, we watched news channel after news channel distance themselves from his words and tell the audience that he failed America. I listened to Rachel Maddow give a very brief timeline of the KKK and learned (?) that DjT's father was once arrested for being part of a klan "rally" that got out of hand -- did we know this?! Did we know he was a nazi-sympathizer? We should have. This whole neo-nazi vs. anti-facist thing has got me all sorts of confused. Aren't we supposed to be anti-facists?! Isn't that just being a part of humanity? It's like every time I loosen up on my distain and disappointment of him he does something even worse than before. 

We all know what happened Saturday. So when Monday rolled around and we had to depart the cozy and safe (?) part of the northeast to drive... south, I was a bit worried! Of course, there are people everywhere that share the same views of DjT, who fly the confederate flag, or who don't value diversity, or who don't think social issues are important. I'm not naive. I don't think the northeast is some sacred blue land. But while driving through the south... I had no idea how many confederate flags I actually would see. There were a lot. And they were big. And they were flown really high. I don't understand it. That's not our flag. You are not preserving history. That's for museums to do. You are displaying a controversial symbol that represents racism, oppression and slavery. 

DjT has been in office for 209 days. That's it. He has more time ahead of him, in office, than behind. Because of who I am, and what I look like, and where I live -- I have the privilege of checking in and out of this presidency, his administration and his agenda. It's a terrible thing  --  that when it gets too much for me to handle and I feel useless and defeated and his words make me so frustrated and bring me to tears -- I can just not pay attention. Nothing has effected me. Yet. There have been no threats against me. Yet. I'm not an immigrant. I'm not muslim. I'm not transgendered. You can't tell I'm a person of color. I'm not Jewish.  -- And so what now? I wait until he continues to add more groups to his list of humans he won't defend or stand up for -- until one of those groups does define me? How is he leading us? How is he protecting us? 

It reminds me of this:

This weekend, all across the country, including Boston, there are going to be more "rallies" in the name of "free speech" and there will be counter-protests. It feels unsafe to attend these counter-protests but if people don't show up then... what? We'll all slowly be picked off and picked over by DjT and his administration until there's one kind of people in this country and most likely that one group of people won't include me or you. I have a problem with that. That's not the America I want to live in and it's not the America I want for my kids.